im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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