I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Sext me about skeletons
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
