The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
