girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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