i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
