I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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