You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
