For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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