when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
