his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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