i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
