she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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