How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
