Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
