We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
it was like eating out sand paper
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
