remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
