Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
