Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
