she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
My ATM looks so different sober.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
