If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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