Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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