6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
