also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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