I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize