Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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