PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
