Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize