My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
