evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize