addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
