I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
