dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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