i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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