id be glad to
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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