It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
