He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
