It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I won't apologize to a one balled man
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
