My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
