wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
