We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
