i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
