I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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