why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
