we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
