I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
