That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
