get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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