You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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