Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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