I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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