I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
