that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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