you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
