I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Randomize
