are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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