there's paper in my vomit.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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