i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
im having a threesome with these popsicles
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
